The Time We Took Online Couple Therapy For His Sexual Aggression
“Should we do it?” I asked him. The wrinkled lines on my forehead were deeper than ever, but even they could not hide the purple bruise on my left cheek.
I asked him again, “Should we go for the online couple therapy?”
He looked horrifyingly embarrassed. If there was an empty grave somewhere, I am sure he would have buried himself inside it.
“Yes, I am sure about online couple therapy. What happened was quite alarming. We cannot afford to neglect it” he said with a firm tone.
I agree with him.
Let’s go back to 2001 when David and I started dating. It was love at first sight. I knew David was my special man, and he was equally smitten by my odd charm. It was a whirlwind romance that swept me off my feet, convincing me that fairytales are real.
Well, nobody tells you what happens after the happily ever after. That is when the real story begins.
Just like all married couples, David and I had our fair share of ups and downs. We survived them all except for this one. For the past couple of years, David had become increasingly aggressive in the bedroom. At first, it was a great turn on for me. I liked having the male dominance, but soon enough it started to seem a bit problematic.
David insisted on using certain tools while performing sexual activities. It was safe, but a tab bit uncomfortable for me. When I expressed my feelings to David, he was disappointed but respected my decision.
However, I could sense some kind of tension in him. He always seemed on his guard and too sexually aggressive. One night, he asked me if we could do something he had always desired for. This time the idea appealed to me as well and I agreed.
We both got deeply engrossed in the act, and then suddenly out of nowhere, David hit me with the cane on my left cheek. The blow was hard enough to knock me down on the floor, and that is when we both came to our senses.
I sat on the couch with ice on my cheek, completely dumbfounded by what had happened. For two weeks I could not see his face. I was angry, hurt, and extremely scared.
David had already apologized a million times and had even confessed that it could be suppressed anger he had toward me when I had cheated on him. Yes, our marriage was a mess, and we could no longer hide that.
In these two weeks, I sincerely considered divorce. I was convinced that David and I were beyond repair until he suggested online couple therapy.
I was appalled by the idea. I mean, how could a complete stranger tell us how to fix our marriage?! Fortunately, I could not have been more wrong because that complete stranger changed our lives forever. Online couple therapy was the best decision for us.
Some marriages are like a gold-plated trash can. On the outside everything looks glamorous and shiny, but once you open the trash can, all you get is garbage.
David and my marriage had become like a gold-plated trash can. We were the social elites, oh so perfect couple! But once the door was shut, we were just two lost people who had no idea where all the love had slipped away.
Don’t get me wrong. Love was still there, but we both did not know how to awaken it. Amidst being parents, fulfilling our duties, and chasing our ambitions, we had stopped being each other’s best friends.
It got worse when I cheated on him. A decision that I regret with all my heart. Yet, it happened and I have no power to change that. After the unfortunate event, David and I became two strangers living together. It was numbingly painful. Soon the silence turned into hatred which in retrospect got translated into sexual aggression.
That was the real problem that we uncovered during online couple therapy. David was deeply angry with him. He never articulated his feelings because that was against his ‘manhood’. And I could not get myself to ask him for divorce because A) I loved him, and B) I could not end up like my parents.
In online couple therapy, David and I learned so much about each other. It helped us to empathize with each other’s pain and find forgiveness. It gave us a space to heal our wounds and see each other in a new light.
Not just that, but the whole process reminded us of who we used to be- two best friends that fell in love. The wave came and took us away, but I guess we found our way back to each other.
Online couple therapy improved the way David and I communicate with each other and also equipped us with better problem-solving skills. It showed us the efforts we both needed to put to create a healthy and happy marriage.
Oh God, online couple therapy was a long journey and definitely not an easy one. We yelled, cried, laughed, and realized that there is a lot of work we need to do on our individual selves as well.
In the end it was all worth it because David and I will be celebrating our 22nd anniversary this year. For us, it is nothing less than a lifetime achievement. We survived the worst times together, and *touchwood* we emerged out of them stronger as a couple.
Note: Online couple therapy is a process where a certified therapist works with you and your partner to address and resolve issues affecting your precious bond. It aims at fostering better communication, problem-solving skills, and growth. If you and your partner have been facing problems in your marriage then it is advisable to talk to an expert marriage counselor today. Book your session of online couple therapy with us.