Why Couples Choose To Sleep In Separate Rooms After 40
Many couples choose to sleep in separate rooms, especially after 40. Expert marriage counselor at Holistic Living believes that sleeping in separate rooms may not necessarily be a sign of a broken relationship, rather it could be a mutual choice for the betterment of their marriage.
For instance, snoring or differing sleep/wake schedules is one of the most common reasons couples sleep separately.
Mr.& Mrs. Jain have been married for 20 years. For the past five years, they have been sleeping in separate beds because of their different schedules.
Mr. Jain prefers working till late hours whereas Mrs. Jain is an early riser. They decided to sleep in separate rooms so they would not disturb each other. This way both can have their own space to do things they enjoy and get rested sleep.
Or take the example of Mamta and Sandeep. They are in their late 40s, well-settled, and satisfied with the life they have made. After their kids moved out, Mamta and Sandeep decided to sleep separately. Initially, it was uncomfortable but over time they made peace with it.
The relationship dynamics keep changing with time. Most couples lose the passionate spark they once shared and settle with stability and peace. Moreover, busy working schedules, shifting priorities, and children also contribute to the lack of physical and sexual intimacy.
However, if a marriage is facing repeated conflicts that have driven the couple apart then it becomes a cause of concern. If there is a sense of resentment or deep boredom in the marriage then couples should treat it as a warning and understand the root of their problem.
For instance, Dhruv and Payal were in their early 40s when they started sleeping in separate beds. During the day they have little or no conversations and at night they prefer indulging in their different interests.
“After my son got married and moved on, I realized that my husband and I do not have much in common. He worked till late hours so we started sleeping separately and eventually, that became a habit. Our relationship feels boring and dull now” says Payal.
This is an unfortunate fate for many couples. They settle for a mediocre marriage and consider it as a norm. However, it should not be this way. Couples need to make extra efforts to build a secure, happy, and satisfying marriage. After all, you will spend the major part of your life with each other.
Ashna and Veer opted for marriage counseling when they realized that their marriage had turned stagnant and dull. This one decision changed everything for them. Marriage counseling helped them overcome a mediocre relationship and recreate their bond with love, passion, and fun!
“Whoever tells you that marriage becomes dull after 40 is wrong! I mean, yes it does but I feel it is up to the couple to take charge and do something about it.
When Veer and I started dating everything was romantic and exhilarating. Then reality set in, responsibilities poured in, and even before we knew we had become this couple who could only talk about their children or work.
Then one day I was looking at our old pictures and a nostalgic feeling set in. I could not help but wonder why and how we became like this” says Ashna.
Fortunately, Ashna and Veer were not the ones to give up and let life dictate their fate. They went for marriage counseling because they wanted to improve their relationship, or at least understand their current situation.
In marriage counseling at Holistic Living Center, the couple learned how to communicate effectively. Through various strategies employed by the marriage counselor, Ashna and Veer developed a deeper bond and found new ways to reignite their love, passion, and fun.
Marriage counseling helped the couple resolve past issues and strengthen their emotional connection.
“It was an amazing experience for Ashna and me. Our kids tease us about how cringy we have become and I think that is a huge compliment for us!” laughs Veer.
Every relationship faces its own set of challenges and obstacles. Every couple is tested with time. Many succumb to the pressures of life and become comfortable with a mediocre marriage. They begin to sleep in separate rooms and adopt a passive attitude toward love and life.
While some couples choose to go the extra mile to create an enduring bond and spend their days enjoying each other’s company.
If you and your partner have drifted apart after years of marriage then it is best to contemplate why and how to revive your relationship. The bond between a husband and wife is extremely precious because eventually everybody leaves and you are left with each other.
Hence, it is crucial to prioritize your marriage and take active steps to build a beautiful one. Marriage counseling can help you and your partner in this journey.
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