What Is Pre-Marital Counselling & How Can It Help You Create A Happy Long-Lasting Marriage
The divorce rates have increased by 40%. Our tolerance level has either reduced far beyond the sensible measure or we are finally learning how to say no to abusive and unhappy marriages. In either case, it is interesting to understand what makes a marriage work and what drives couples to call it quits.
We asked our expert relationship counsellor to share her insights about the topic. She has witnessed many different relationships in her 10 years of practice, and she is happily married to her childhood sweetheart for 25 years now.
We asked her what is their secret to a long-lasting and solid marriage.
“Marriage is a partnership. I cook. He washes the dishes. Nobody wants to do anything? We order from our favorite restaurant. Jokes apart, marriage is commitment. It is realizing that your partner is a flawed human and loving them all the same. It is about going through many phases together including the one where your partner gets on your last nerve.” shares the expert relationship counsellor.
We then asked her, ‘why are so many relationships and marriages ending up in divorce or separation?”
“Things are very different now. One good reason is that more men and women are opening up about abuse, and they are receiving support for it. They now have the privilege to end a toxic marriage rather than feeling obligated to stay in one.
Sadly, that is not always the case. Young couples are running out of patience. They no longer have the energy or the time to put in the efforts needed to make a marriage work. Plus with the technology and easy accessibility there are so many options available so why stick with one?
Then there is the issue of compatibility. Many couples rush into a marriage and then later find out they have very different attitudes and values toward life. This especially creates conflicts while raising children.
Another reason that I have been observing a lot is financial tension. Inadequate savings and family planning are perhaps one of the biggest causes of constant fights and arguments.
All this can be avoided if couples sit together and have open and honest conversations about their needs and expectations. It takes maturity to listen to your partner without getting offended and actually understand their point of view.
That is why I advise couples to take pre-marital counselling” says the relationship counsellor.
What Is Pre-Marital Counselling?
Pre-marital counselling is a type of therapy where couples or families come together to freely talk about their concerns, expectations, and important issues related to their relationship. These issues can range from finances, raising children, in-laws, lifestyle decisions, compatibility, etc.
In pre-marital counselling, couples get a safe space to navigate through these issues and make sure that they are on the same page before tying the knot.
Why Is It Important?
Pre-marital counselling is super important these days. The divorce rates are increasing because many young couples go into marriage with certain presumptions. And after a couple of months when reality sets in, they start having differences and conflicts.
For instance, we had a couple who wanted to get divorced after just two weeks of their marriage. The reason was that the girl expected to live separately from her in-laws after marriage, but for some reason, it did not happen and that turned into a big issue
So, it is important to be clear about what you expect from your partner and have a rough vision of your marriage so that you can avoid these problems later on. That is where counselling can help you and your partner to gain that much-needed clarity and start your marriage on a strong foundation.
What Happens In Pre-Marital Counselling?
Here, the expert relationship counsellor will ask you and your partner important questions that will help you and your partner to understand each other better.
At times, couples hesitate in asking these questions because they are scared to create any problems before marriage, or they feel shy or they simply don’t feel the need to ask these questions. So, counselling helps them to understand that these questions are needed to set realistic expectations and plan their future.
Moreover, the counsellor will provide tools and techniques to improve their communication styles, develop effective problem-solving skills, and understand each other’s love language, beliefs, values, etc.
How Can It Benefit You?
We have had so many couples and families who have benefited from pre-marital counselling. It has helped them to avoid problems that could have been a deal breaker in their marriage.
For instance, there was a couple who belonged to different castes. Counselling helped them to set a system of how they will raise their children in the future and not let the caste differences affect their relationship. This clarity beforehand proved to be really helpful in their marriage later on.
“I feel every couple should go for pre-marital counselling because it helps to understand each other better, set future plans and expectations, and also help to resolve personal & family issues” says the expert relationship Counsellor
A good relationship nourishes your life in many ways. Having a loving and supportive partner by your side can make all your life struggles easy to handle. Creating a successful and happy marriage is one of the most crucial achievements in life, and can be a major source of bliss, happiness and peace.
Therefore, choosing the right partner is one of the most important decisions you will ever make in your life. This is the person you will create a family with and the one who will be there for you when you grow old.
That is why it is beneficial to be clear, honest and open about your needs, feelings, and expectations with your partner and even yourself. Pre-marital counselling can help to clear confusion and ensure that you and your partner start the lifelong promise on a solid foundation.