5 Tips for Dealing with Jealousy- One of the Common Relationship Problems.
Nobody loves feeling envious. Jealousy, however, is an unavoidable feeling that almost all of us will experience. The issue with jealousy isn’t so much that it arises from time to time as it is what it causes to us when we don’t control it. It may be terrifying to witness what occurs when we allow our envy to overtake us or influence our perceptions of ourselves and the world around us.
That is why knowing where our jealous sentiments come from and learning how to cope with jealousy in healthy, adaptive ways is so important in so many aspects of our life, from interpersonal relationships to professions to personal objectives.
It’s a simple fact that relationships run more smoothly when individuals aren’t unduly envious of one another. The more we can control our envy and make sense of it apart from our spouse, the better off we will be. Remember that jealousy typically stems from self-insecurity — the belief that we are bound to be tricked, wounded, or rejected. Unless we address this emotion within ourselves, we are likely to have feelings of envy, distrust, or insecurity in any relationship, regardless of the circumstances. To address this emotion, face it and grow out of it, you can seek help from a professional counsellor.
The intriguing aspect is that jealousy can be dealt with, and here are a few suggestions:
Consider what’s being agitated – SIFT is an acronym used by Daniel Siegel to express how we may sort through the sensations, pictures, feelings, and ideas that arise when we dwell on particular difficulties in our life. Always acknowledge your emotion first, then work through it.
Talk about it – When feelings of jealousy take over, it’s critical to find the proper person to talk to and a healthy manner to express ourselves. The sort of friends we want to talk to about our envy are those that encourage a positive side of ourselves and keep us from obsessing or falling further into our sorrows. We should look for people who will encourage us to continue on course and become the persons we want to be.
Venting to these people is OK as long as we acknowledge that we are expressing excessive and unreasonable ideas and sentiments. This procedure is only effective when it relieves us of the emotion and allows us to go on and conduct acceptable activities. If we are experiencing sentiments of envy, we should seek the advice of a therapist. This can help us make sense of our emotions and gain control of them, overcome Jealousy and allow us to respond in more healthy and adaptive ways.
Calm down and remain vulnerable – Regardless of how jealous we are, we may discover methods to reconnect with ourselves and soften. We might begin by acknowledging our feelings with kindness. Remember that no matter how intense our emotions are, they tend to pass in waves, mounting and then subsiding. It is possible to embrace and admit our envy while refusing to act on it. We may develop methods to calm ourselves down before reacting, such as going for a walk or taking a series of deep breaths.
It’s far simpler to settle down in this way when we refuse to allow or indulge in our inner critic’s furious statements, therefore understanding how to counter it is critical. When we do, we can stand up for ourselves and others we care about while being vulnerable and open in our interactions.
Don’t act out – Our critical inner voice often tells us to do things that will harm us in the long term. Once we are in a condition of envy, it may advise us to give up or stop pursuing our goals. It may drive us to self-sabotage, lash out against, or punish someone we like. It may instruct us to freeze or lash out at our mate if we are in a relationship. When we do this, we just create the dynamic that we are terrified of.
We may injure and weaken our partners’ sentiments of love for us, as well as arouse their own feelings of suspicion and dread. We may unintentionally push them to become more closed off, less transparent about their feelings, ideas, and behaviours, which contributes to our suspicion and envy.
Seek our own sense of security – The most important thing we can do is concentrate on feeling strong and confident in ourselves. We must strive hard to overcome our inner critic and feel that we are capable of doing it even on our own. We don’t need the affection of one person to feel we’re loveable. Human beings have flaws and limits, and no one can provide us with what we require 100% of the time. This is why it is critical to develop self-compassion and learn to confront our inner critic.
This does not imply excluding others or excluding ourselves from what we desire. It truly entails fully embracing our life while feeling that we are strong enough to fail or lose. Whatever emotions come, we can manage them.
In a relationship, it’s important to maintain open, honest communication with our partner. If we hope to have their trust and for them to have ours, we have to listen to what they say without growing defensive or rushing to judgment.
This open line of communication is not about unloading our insecurities on our partner, but instead, allowing ourselves to be kind and connected, even when we feel insecure or jealous. This naturally helps our partner to do the same and at the same time keeps our mind at peace and mentally fit.