Is Sexting Cheating?? Why You Should Take Online Marriage Counselling Before It Is Too Late
689,308 divorces occurred across 45 states in the USA. The highest divorce rate is 92%. In India, the number of divorces has doubled since 1996. In fact, divorce is an upcoming trend globally.
These statistics could be depressing. Half of the marriages ending in divorce does not give a very positive image of love, does it?
Although a divorce may be seen as a failure or a taboo in many societies, it is intriguing to look on the other side of the grass.
A 36-year-old woman who escaped an abusive husband.
A 40-year-old man who finally found peace after 20 years of a toxic marriage.
A 12-year-old child who had to witness ugly fights between her parents.
Divorce is often the ending of an ongoing misery and the beginning of hope.
You see, there are many factors that lead to the end of a relationship. Nobody simply wakes up one day and checks off a divorce from their to-do list.
At Holistic Living, we have covered a woman’s journey toward owning and living her desires. Now, there will be certain aspects that many people may disapprove of. But the purpose of the story is not to pass judgment. Instead, it will be an eye-opener for those who are currently struggling in their romantic relationships.
It was a chilly night on 12th December. The lights were sparkling outside Asha’s 2BHK apartment. She was 45 years, old and lonely.
Asha had been married to Raghav for 25 years. Wow. Two decades and more. He was lying next to her. His rhythmic snoring disturbed the silence of the night. She sighed. Is this how life has always been?
Suddenly, an 80s popular song rings in her head. The cherished memories of her past rushes back to her. Raghav’s hand around her waist, the blaring music, twinkling lights, and the same chilly December night.
What went wrong?
Nothing. On paper, there was nothing wrong with Asha and Raghav’s marriage. A beautiful home, a steady flow of money, two sons, and a dog. Both the sons were well-settled in foreign countries and visited their parents twice a year. It was all good. Yet, Asha’s heart longed for companionship. She craved for physical touch, a hand to hold, random forehead kisses, or even passionate sex.
For a woman to dream about such things is normal. For a woman in her late 40s? Well, not so normal. Asha kept her feelings to herself for she knew that there was no point in communicating with her husband anymore.
She had done it many times in the past. But all she heard was
“You are just overthinking”
“Everything is fine”
“Okay, as you say”
She thought to herself, “Is this how it is supposed to be? After 25 years of marriage is it truly okay to start acting like strangers?”
The answer to Asha’s personal thoughts is a big fat no! Marriage will have days that are boring, dull, and monotonous but a persistent feeling of unhappiness is a red flag.
Asha had been unhappy for 7 years. She had drowned herself in her work as an escape from a failing marriage but her mind would often drift back to her relationship. A million thoughts ran in her head and a sinking feeling in her heart.
They did not love each other anymore. Their marriage was reduced to nothing but two roommates sharing an apartment together. They would attend social gatherings as a couples but once they reached home not even a word was shared between them.
Every time Asha tried to point out the lack of chemistry, Raghav would dismiss it and ask her not to behave like a teenage girl.
Somewhere Asha had started resenting him. She would enjoy the days when Raghav was on his business trips. At first, she convinced herself that something was wrong with her. She believed that her expectations were unreasonable and it was ordinary for marriages to turn passive and dull.
So, she went for therapy to process her thoughts and emotions. The therapist suggested marriage counselling. When Asha pitched the idea to Raghav, he simply stared at her in disbelief. His constant denial and dismissal of their marital issues were driving Asha to the edge.
Now, there was nothing left to do. Asha had tried everything in her power including planning dinner dates, initiating sex, counselling but Raghav’s lack of reciprocation drove her to a state of numbness.
Asha stopped expecting anything from her marriage, or Raghav. She accepted her fate. 45% of marriages turn this way and she was not an exception.
A few months later, Asha received a Facebook message from her long-lost school friend. His name was Aamir. What started as a friendly banter soon turned into full-blown sexting. Asha loved how he made her feel- young and sexy again. She missed that feeling terribly. The feeling of being seen, cherished, and desired.
The sexting continued for 6 months. Initially, Asha felt supremely guilty but in her heart, she knew that she had given her all in the marriage and still, it was not enough. She tried stopping herself a couple of times but could not stay away from Aamir for too long.
Then came the inevitable day. On 25th January 2022 Raghav asked Asha about her affair. She looked straight at him and unfolded the entire story. He listened patiently and finally said, “You can continue if you want. Just don’t let it affect our social image and children”
That was the final blow to Asha’s heart. She yelled and screamed and blurted out everything she had been suppressing within her. What pained her the most was his oblivious nature. He had no idea of the hell she had been living in for the past 10 years. Raghav asked her why she did not tell him everything before. Little did she know that Asha had time and again expressed her feelings but it all fell upon deaf ears.
The next morning Raghav asked Asha if she would be willing to go for marriage counselling. But it was too late. Asha had made up her mind and she no longer wanted to squeeze herself into a mediocre marriage.
This is the end of Asha’s story. Not in real life, of course. In real life, it was the beginning of a new chapter.
Sexting, cheating, and infidelity could be major dealbreakers in any relationship. Although nothing can justify such actions, it is important to delve into the events that led to that decision. If only Raghav had been more attentive, cared to listen, or even agreed to marriage counselling, things would have turned out differently for them.
Marriages don’t work on fate. Marriages last when both partners are willing and committed to doing everything it takes to keep it going. It should not be children, families, or society tying the couple together, but the sheer desire to spend the rest of their life with each other that needs to be the driving force of any romantic relationship.
Last but most importantly IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS. At least, not when it comes to making a marriage work. If there are any issues or concerns you are facing then it is of utmost importance to resolve them together as a couple. Even if it is a small problem, sit and talk it out.