Top 10 Signs You Desperately Need Inner Child Healing
Take a deep breath. Close your eyes, and tune into your inner world. Tell me, how are you feeling at this present moment?
Do you feel energetic, excited, and happy about life? If you nodded yes, then your wounded inner child is healed and connected.
Or, are you feeling low, empty, and anxious? These emotions are often a sign that you are carrying unresolved wounds within you, and you need inner child healing.
All of us have a fair share of highs and lows in our lives. Just like the moon, we go through many phases. However, if the struggles are persistent and recurring in your life then it is a warning sign that something is not right.
For instance, Maria’s life was plagued with toxic and broken relationships. She felt that she attracted the same people in different bodies. There was a consistent feeling of suffocation and hurt in all her relationships.
When Maria came for therapy, she was depressed and heartbroken. She could not figure out whether the problem was her, or the people she dated.
As the sessions progressed, Maria revealed several snippets about her childhood. She grew up in an unhealthy family environment. Her parents would constantly fight and argue. Her father would verbally abuse her mother. And after every fight, Maria’s mother would seek comfort from her.
In her journal, Maria had written, “When you asked me to sleep between you and Papa after your fight, I just wanted to scream and say NO!”
Maria grew up and started a life of her own. However, the past never left her. It showed up in how she related with herself and others. Her self-esteem was damaged. She never felt good enough for anything. She settled for one-sided friendships and relationships and took a long time to notice the signs of abuse.
Maria had also developed a fear of abandonment. She found it incredibly difficult to trust others and constantly doubted their motive and love for her. There was a rigid sense of emptiness that she just could not shake off.
Maria’s case is not unique. Many of us suffer from the wounded inner child. This article explains what is inner child, the signs of a wounded inner child, and do you need inner child healing.
Note: This article may be triggering for some people. Hence, it is advisable to read it objectively. If you can relate to the signs or instances mentioned then please feel free to pick up your phone and talk to our compassionate counsellors.
What Is Your Inner Child?
Within each one of us, there is an emotional representation of our childhood days. It is the part of us that allows us to feel excited, curious, and happy about life. When our inner child is wounded it leads to issues in our relationships, mental well-being, career, and life in general.
A wounded inner child is a result of traumatic childhood experiences. When a child’s need for safety, love, and belonging is constantly neglected or criticized it severely hampers their psychological well-being. The child grows up believing that the world is not a good place, and gets trapped in the cycle of negative patterns carried from childhood days.
If someone grew up in a volatile home environment, had inconsistent parents, or faced emotional/physical/sexual abuse will suffer from a wounded inner child.
Signs of Wounded Inner Child
Old attachment wounds will keep showing up in your life until you recognize the signs and engage in inner child healing. Here are some signs that your inner child is wounded:
1. You feel like you are never good enough
“My baba only had three daughters. He would often curse his fate and wish that he had gotten a son. I hated myself for a very long time because of that. I hated being a woman” says Gauravi.
Gauravi was struggling with low self-esteem and an inferiority complex when she came for therapy. When the expert therapist encouraged Gauravi to engage in some self-reflection, she could trace a lot of her self-doubts back to her childhood days.
She always felt like no matter what she did, she could never have her father’s approval. These beliefs wounded her inner child and manifested in unhealthy ways in her adult life. For instance, she would attract male partners who often criticized her and made ‘jokes’ on her. She would go to great lengths to prove her self-worth and gain their approval.
The truth was that Gauravi’s inner child was desperately seeking appreciation, something that was taken away from her when she was a child.
Hence, feelings of worthlessness are often a sign of the wounded inner child.
2. You leave things halfway
Running away from responsibilities, or engaging in chronic procrastination is another sign of wounded inner child. Individuals who suffer from childhood traumas tend to leave things halfway because they feel they are not capable of completing them.
They may also run away from serious relationships because of their fear of abandonment and rejection.
3. You keep attracting the same relationships
Seeing the same patterns in your intimate relationships can be a sign of a wounded inner child. When we carry pain and hurt inside us, we tend to repeat the same narrative. We attract toxic attachments similar to our childhood days as an attempt to change the ending, or simply because it feels familiar.
4. You feel alone most of the time
A deep sense of emptiness, or feeling lonely in your relationships could point to a wounded inner child. You often feel like nobody understands you, because as a child your feelings were dismissed, or you had to deal with everything on your own.
5. You experience sudden spells of crying
Do you just randomly burst out crying? You have this uncontrollable urge to cry and you cannot figure out why. This is because your subconscious mind remembers the childhood trauma even if you have blocked it from your conscious awareness.
The mind remembers everything, and the pain you have kept inside you will come out in some way or the other.
6. You long for love and affection
Individuals whose inner child is wounded may crave love and affection more than others. Since they have developed a fear of abandonment due to childhood trauma, they may have a constant need for assurance. When these needs are not addressed, it triggers the same hurt and fear within them.
7. You cannot handle confrontations
If confrontations make you all panicky and anxious then you may want to take a look at your inner child. An individual with a wounded inner child feels that their opinions and feelings don’t matter. With time, they may even start believing that nobody truly cares for their well-being. Hence, they would rather gulp down their feelings than communicate them to others.
8. Your ego remains at an all-time high
When someone goes through traumatic life experiences, they naturally develop ways to cope with the trauma. These coping mechanisms may not always be healthy. For instance, one of the ways people deal with traumatic childhood experiences is by developing an inflated sense of ego.
They like to pretend that they are the best, and nothing can touch them when in reality their confidence is like a balloon- a small prick and it will burst.
Having an inflated sense of ego also means that they may never accept their mistakes because accepting that they are wrong would confirm their belief of not being good enough.
In reality, this exaggerated sense of self is only a way to hide their real feelings of worthlessness.
9. You have been struggling with depression and anxiety
Ongoing mental health issues are one of the major signs of a wounded inner child. The unresolved psychological trauma of your childhood days can get locked up in the psyche, and result in anxiety, depression, chronic stress, and other issues.
A woman who suffered from panic attacks for 43 years finally found relief after doing her inner child healing.
10. You are hyper-independent
“I don’t need anyone”
“I can do everything on my own”
“I cannot depend on anybody”
A person with a wounded inner child may have a hard time asking for help. As a child, these people may have not received support and help from their primary caregivers resulting in being overly independent.
11. You feel obligated to help others
Traumatic childhood experiences can also strengthen empathy and compassion in you. You understand the pain of others because you also have been through the same. As a result, you feel like it is your responsibility to heal or ‘fix’ others in your life.
Did you go, “OMG THAT IS SO ME!” while reading these signs? Then we recommend doing some self-reflection and understanding your concerns better. Imagine yourself when you were a young child, with tiny hands and big eyes. It is time to take care of that child, and let him/her know that she/he is safe, loved, and protected.
Inner child healing is a rewarding journey that is full of self-awareness, forgiveness, letting go, and transforming your life. It helps you to release your childhood trauma, and write a brand-new story of your life.
