Relationship Therapist Changed The Course of Our Broken Marriage After I Was Hit With Depression Says 45 Years Old Sushmita
Sushmita, a 45 years old homemaker opens up about her depression and how it started taking a negative toll on her marriage. She confesses that seeing a relationship therapist was not her first choice but one that turned out to be complete game-changer.
Here is her incredible journey of love, depression and togetherness
On the morning of 5th December 2020, I woke up with a heavy feeling in my heart. The air around me seemed abnormally gloomy and I had no strength to get out of my bed. I could hear my husband preparing breakfast in the kitchen and I hated every sound of it. Soon he would come in the room with a beaming smile but I know he was extremely exhausted with my clinical depression.
The night before that I had decided that I would file for a divorce and put an end to my husband’s misery. I was stuck in my head but I did not want him to waste away these precious years of his life taking care of a sad woman!
In the afternoon when crying for endless hours I finally gathered the courage to talk to him about the divorce. When I told him what I had decided he quietly said that he had already seen the papers in the drawer. I have never seen his face to stern and serious and it honestly scared the hell out of me. Is he going to agree with the divorce?
He said in a clear and loud voice, “Listen to me Sush. You are the love of my life and absolutely nothing is going to change that. Yes, I miss the girl you used to be I have days where I just want to run away to some far-off place but I made a promise to you, and most importantly I made a promise to God that I will take care of you.
Now I am asking you to make a choice here. I have consulted a relationship therapist after a lot of research. We will give our marriage one more shot. We deserve that much. Or you can say no and I will sign the divorce papers. Do you want to see a relationship therapist and give our marriage one more chance?
The voices in my head screamed, “Say no. You are good for nothing. You are ruining his life and blah blah blah”. However, the tiny voice in my heart tried its best to convince me otherwise. For once, I decided to go with my heart. I made a choice of silencing the demons in my head and agree to consult a relationship therapist.
Boy, it was the best choice I have ever made in my life. The Relationship Therapist helped me to understand and resolve my relationship anxiety and gradually the connection with my husband felt normal and effortless. It somewhere helped me with my depression too.
I am off my meds for the last couple of weeks. Some days I wake up earlier than my husband and make his favorite pancakes trying to reciprocate all the times he had to do the same for me.
My life has never been the same ever since I decided to take control of my head and make better choices for myself. It is easy to feel that the storm would never end, but one day you will wake up and see that the sky has finally cleared and the sun is back.
Nitin (my husband) is my love, my best friend, and my world. To imagine that I could have lost him forever if I had not taken the choice. I am fortunate to find someone like him as my life partner but a good relationship is never free from turmoil and conflicts. We have our fair share of fights and arguments but as long as we make a conscious choice to work together to make it last then trust me it will last.
My depression is still there but compared to my past self I am a lot better now. My happy moments weigh more than my sad moments and that is my biggest victory.
Who Is A Relationship Therapist?
Relationship Therapist is a certified mental health professional who is trained and qualified to resolve issues related to relationships. These can include:
These can include:
- Tension, Conflicts & Constant Arguments
- Ineffective or poor communication
- Lack of intimacy or quality time together
- Disagreements over finances, important decisions and lifestyle choices
- Dealing with fear of commitment
- Going through major life changes such as having children or switching professions
- Either of the partners or family member is suffering from chronic illness or mental health issues
A Relationship Therapist provides a safe space where both the partners can openly discuss their feelings, thoughts and factors that are affecting their relationship. The therapist aims at improving the communication styles, conflict resolution and helps the partners find a common ground and healthier ways to cope with their issues.
According to the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), 90 percent of couples who undergo marriage counselling or consult a relationship therapist say their emotional health improved, and two-thirds say their physical health also improved.