Love Advice From Expert Marriage Counsellor: Respect Outweighs Love
The expert marriage counsellor at Holistic Living has been counselling couples for 25 years now. Being happily married for 20 years with three beautiful children, it is safe to say that they have cracked the code of a successful married life.
They frequently take trips together, go on date nights, and at least fight once a week only to come back stronger together. However, the expert marriage counsellor believes that the secret to happy relationships does not lie only in materialistic things. There are couples who do all of this and yet feel empty in their relationship.
Gulping down the bitter truth revealed by the expert marriage counsellor, we ask her a rather complicated question- So what makes love last?
She smiles, stares into space for a while and then says, “My husband’s name is Mayank. I was completely smitten by him. I was only 19 years old when we got engaged. I thought I found the man of my dreams. One day my father advised me that love is all right, but what truly matters is respect.
And I cannot emphasise how right he was. Because, you see, after some time love becomes monotonous. That passion and spark reduce. You start arguing, fighting and wrecking your brains trying to figure out each other. In these times love outweighs respect.
How you choose to communicate with your partner becomes the dealbreaker. And if you choose to communicate with respect then you stand a better chance to make the marriage last”
Love will stay where respect is there. When respect is taken for a toss, the same love can quickly turn into resentment and even hatred.
So, what does respect look like in a relationship? The expert marriage counsellor shares snippets from her real-life experiences that demonstrate what respect means in a marriage.
Let’s take the case of Piyu and Sarang. They had been married for two years. Piyu was a hot-headed woman who would often say cruel things when she was angry. Although she apologised later for her words, it could not completely erase the emotional damage it had already done.
They sought marriage counselling because they felt that they were incompatible with each other. As they explored their concerns, feelings and expectations, they realized that it was not compatibility but a lack of respect that was creating a rift between each other.
Piyu could learn how to express her feelings in a respectful manner, and Sarang had to understand how to be firm on his boundaries. The expert marriage counsellor helped them to develop effective communication and guided them with certain techniques to handle tough situations in a healthy way.
As the respect between them increased so did their love and compatibility.
Whether a man or a woman, both genders need and deserve respect. The way you communicate with your partner when you disagree with something, or the manner in which you react to their frustration shows the level of respect you have for each other.
If you respect your wife or husband you will be more careful with your words, tone and reaction. Yes, we are humans and at times you may lash out but what counts is how you handle the situation later on.
Respect dissolves your ego. It is the willingness to apologize and be mature enough to understand that losing an argument is better than losing your partner’s respect.
Every relationship will have its fair share of fights and conflicts. However, if respect is present in that relationship then there will never be a breach of boundaries or trust.
The expert marriage counsellor confesses that she struggled with expressing respect in the initial years of her relationship.
She says, “In my head, I used to think that I respect my husband. But one day during a heated discussion he said that he feels disrespected in the relationship. I was dumbfounded. Later I asked him what he meant by that. So, he told me how sometimes I casually point out his mistakes in front of my family members or dismiss his opinions.
I could have gotten defensive and given a million excuses. But I accepted his feelings and assured him that it will not happen again.
After that, our relationship took such a great turn! I believe it helped us to connect with each other at a much higher level. Our love became more conscious and easygoing.
So, respect is something that can be taught and learned. Don’t hesitate to ask your partner what makes him/her feel respected. Don’t shy away from expressing your wants and expectations. Trust me, it will enhance your relationship and prevent a lot of fights and issues”
In this article, the expert marriage counsellor beautifully expresses the value of respect in any relationship. She even goes to the extent of saying that love may or may not be 100%, but respect should never falter.
The expert marriage counsellor also explains how couples can learn to build respect in the relationship by honestly expressing their feelings, desires and expectations of each other.
We cannot agree more with that. What about you? Do you agree with the love advice shared by our expert marriage counsellor?
Tell us a few ways you feel respected in a romantic relationship!
Holistic Living provides 10-minutes Free consultation with top marriage counsellors. You can use this opportunity to clear your doubts and seek answers to all your questions. Just click on the link to Call/WhatsApp our expert counsellor today!