Want A Happy Marriage? Always Keep These 5 Secrets
A happy marriage is a private affair. In the typical Indian context, it is a circus. You will always have an audience watching your every move.
When is the big date?
So, any good news?
It has been 5 years, no?
Say whatever, the loud opinions and judgements from others can tint even the strongest marital bonds. Not to forget, the presence of in-laws like 10 heads of the Raavan has often ignited fires that have burned the whole land.
So, how can a couple keep their sanity intact and continue to build a happy marriage?
We conducted an in-depth interview with our team of marriage counsellors who have extensive and successful experience in helping couples resolve their issues. We asked them a simple question, ‘what is the secret of a happy marriage?’.
The answers were highly insightful, practical and 100% relatable! It was a tough task, but we managed to summarise everything in this article.
Here are 5 secrets that couples should always keep to experience a blissful and loving married life.
Do not discuss your partner’s nitpicks, annoying habits, flaws or mistakes with ANYBODY. Nope, not your childhood best friend, not your mommy dearest, not your soul sisters. Nobody at all.
Here is why. You love your partner. Sooner or later, you will either forget these annoyances or get used to them. But guess who will not? The person to whom you bitched about your partner. The more you talk about your partner, the more they will have the right to judge you, your partner and your relationship.
If something is bothering you then A) Talk it out with your partner directly. If for whatever reason you cannot do then B) Take professional guidance like marriage counselling.
Adhering to the oath of not bad-mouthing your partner will have a humongous impact on your marriage. So, remember secret #1 and you will have a happy marriage!
Do not discuss your relationship challenges and problems with others. Let’s read a story.
This story is about Yasmin. She married Azad when she was 27 years old. At 32, she was still married to him but had not conceived yet. They lived in a joint family and Azad was the eldest son so the pressure was boiling up.
Exhausted with the constant taunts and questions, Yasmin decided to talk to Samir. Samir was the eldest brother of Azad’s father. Yasmin and he had a father-daughter-like relationship and she believed that she could confide in him. Yasmin unfolded the truth in front of Samir. She told him that Azad and she had been trying to conceive for 2 years. Recent medical reports revealed that Azad’s sperm are on the weaker side, and Yasmin’s uterus was too small to conceive, reducing their chances of ever getting pregnant to only 2%.
After hearing everything, Samir decided that the best course of action would be to talk to Azad’s parents. In such a situation, it is the woman who is generally blamed and labelled as inadequate. Yasmin had to hear many harsh comments but she and Azad had promised to say a word about their problem to anybody.
But a well-intended Samir went and blurted the whole truth to Azad’s parents. And what happened next was a series of arguments, ugly fights, loss of trust and a huge rift between Azad and Yasmin.
Although your loved one may have reasonable reasons and good intentions, it is best to deal with your marital issues on your own. A third party involvement is often a risky business unless it is an expert marriage counsellor who has no tie-ups with your family.
Remember Secret #2 for a happy marriage always.
This one is a secret you need to keep from your partner. If your father, mother, sister, best friend, uncle, aunt, or niece has ever said bad stuff about your partner then it is advisable to keep it to yourself. Yes, take a stand for your partner and let others know that it will not be tolerated but avoid talking about such things to your partner.
It is likely to create an unsaid barrier between your partner and your family, increasing chances for further conflicts, resentment or passive anger.
Keep no secrets from your partner. Are we contradicting our own points? Proven guilty. But hear us out. Or hear our certified marriage counsellor. Ms. Sony says, “Talk to your partner as much as you can. Tell them about your feelings, expectations, opinions, and views.. Everything. This is someone you are going to live and die with. A happy marriage is when you can talk like best friends to each other and keep no secrets. It is a sign of a healthy connection”
Remember Secret #4 for a happy marriage!
Do you know the best person who will keep all your marital secrets, the bad, good and the ugly??? A marriage counsellor. They abide by 100% privacy and 0% judgements. Plus, you will get a safe space to talk about your concerns without anybody eavesdropping or passing personal biases.
Break the stereotypes and get therapy help when needed. Relationships are too precious to be broken over egos, societal pressures and family expectations. Your marriage deserves a good chance to not just survive but thrive happily.