My Mother-In-Law Controls My Husband Too Much, What Should I Do?
Ashmi and Uday have been married for 6 years. They live in a joint family system. Since it was a love marriage, Uday’s mother had a difficult time adjusting to his choice. She needed to control everything related to Uday’s life since childhood. Now, this habit was creating tension and conflicts between Uday and Ashmi.
Although Uday and Ashmi loved each other and felt happy in their marriage, the constant interference from her mother-in-law was taking a toll on their bond. Ashmi felt that Uday could take a stronger stand while he believed that with time, things would be better.
Every next day, they would argue or fight over this matter. When they tried confronting her mother-in-law, she would start crying and blame Ashmi for brainwashing his son.
Tired and helpless, Uday and Ashmi contacted a marriage counselor at Holistic Living Wellness Studio. In the consultation session, the couple shared their pressing concerns and struggles with their mother-in-law.
Since she refused to attend the session, the therapist forged a plan to help Ashmi and Uday navigate the problems efficiently. The sessions focused on improving communication between the couple, setting boundaries, and creating a harmonious balance at home.
The therapist began by identifying unhealthy patterns of communication. For instance, Uday would instantly get dismissive every time Ashmi brought up the topic of her mother-in-law. He had internalized the belief that he was not a good son somewhere. This belief drove him to go above and beyond for his mother even at the stake of his happiness and desires.
In the sessions, Uday worked on changing this negative belief. He learned how to prioritize his happiness without feeling guilty or shameful. This gave him the courage to set healthy and firm boundaries with his mother. He realized that by doing so he was helping her as well.
In the case of Ashmi, she was projecting her own mother’s life experiences onto her married life. Her mother had struggled with an abusive marriage, particularly with her in-laws. She had internalized the belief that all marriages are the same, and she should protect herself from a similar fate. This led her to exaggerate the slightest disagreements and act impulsively to any triggers.
In the sessions, Ashmi learned how to detach herself from her mother’s past. He gained more faith in her marriage and worked on handling her triggers calmly. This drastically improved the communication between her and her husband. She was able to convey her feelings assertively and firmly.
The joint sessions helped the couple strengthen their bond, and build a sense of closeness. It worked on increasing understanding, friendship, and trust. Gradually, they learned to manage the conflicts with Ashmi’s mother-in-law without affecting their married life.
This holistic and intensive approach by the therapist at Holistic Living Wellness Studio changed the couple’s dynamics and equipped them with the skills needed to build a happy and lasting marriage.
“Marriage counseling changed our perspectives. Although we loved each other, the tension at home was drifting us apart. We were failing to prioritize our relationship. Counseling helped us with that. Now, things are a lot better at home. Our marriage has improved amazingly and we feel truly happy with each other” says Ashmi.
Marriage is a commitment that requires continual work. When things get tough, it may look tempting to leave everything and choose peace. However, all relationships come with a fair share of struggles. It is up to you whether you want to face the struggles together or give up.
Issues with the in-laws are one of the biggest causes of divorce. However, through marriage counseling, it is possible to overcome them, set healthy boundaries, and strengthen the marital relationship.
The Holistic Living Wellness Studio offers top marriage counseling services in Mumbai. We also provide online sessions which is convenient for working couples, or those living outside Mumbai.
To understand the process you can avail our 10-minute Free consultation with expert counselors. Call/WhatsApp 91-9321073548 or Click This Link to book your session.