Top Therapist in Mumbai Explains the Cycle of Narcissistic Abuse
Dhruvi, a 36 years old resident of Mumbai suffered from narcissistic abuse for 12 years in her marriage. She consulted Mr. Mittal, a top therapist in Mumbai for her persistent anxiety attacks and bouts of crying.
Delving further into her concerns, Dhurvi realized that she had somewhere normalized the abuse and turned completely desensitized to the pain and hurt she experienced for years and years. The past trauma was buried in her subconscious mind and manifested as anxiety attacks and spells of depression.
Mr. Mittal analyzed that the best course of action for Dhruvi would be Hypnotherapy. In Hypnotherapy, Dhruvi confronted her childhood trauma where she felt neglected and emotionally abused by her own father. Her father exhibited classic traits of narcissism.
He explicitly humiliated Dhruvi and her mother, constantly reminding them that they were indebted to him. He was the most charismatic person in social settings but as soon as he was away from the public eye, he would turn into a ruthless and cruel man.
Dhruvi’s father never physically hurt her. However, he deprived her of safety, affection, and fatherly love. That was also a form of narcissistic abuse.
Dhruvi had internalized the abuse, and subconsciously repeated it in her marriage. She actively looked for a partner who matched her father’s traits.
This is one of the most common patterns of victims of narcissistic abuse. They lose touch with their core identity and become empty vessel who feeds on their abuser’s validation. They repeat the cycle of abuse by attracting similar people and relationships.
In the case of Dhruvi, her ex-partner was very similar to her father. Since childhood, she had mostly only experienced such men so in her mind it was normal when a man would disrespect her.
The familiarity of abuse was imprinted in her mind and that is the reason why she found it difficult to recognize the narcissistic abuse in her marriage” says Mr. Mittal, a top therapist in Mumbai.
Another commonly observed cycle of narcissistic abuse is when the victim becomes the abuser. This could either be intentional or unintentional, but they impose the same abuse that they experienced in their lives.
These people usually play the victim card. They seldom take responsibility for their actions and always find somebody else to blame for their misery.
Sonali is in her mid-40s. She lives in London and has taken online marriage counselling with Mr. Mittal. She had struggled with 3 abusive relationships before getting married to Harsh.
Although she successfully escaped the narcissistic abuse, it had left a huge impact on her personality, mindset, and attitude toward life. She subconsciously repeated the abusive behaviors in her current marriage.
For instance, she engaged in gaslighting behaviors and passive aggressive tactics. She expected Harsh to understand her needs but rarely reciprocated the same toward him.
In reality, the continual abuse had emptied Sonali of compassion and empathy. Since she never allowed herself to heal from the past, she had many fears and defenses that prevented her from enjoying a healthy relationship.
She had unknowingly adopted traits of narcissism and projected the unhealed wounds in her marriage. Mr. Mittal, a top therapist in Mumbai supported Sonali and guided her to change her self-victimizing mindset.
Mr. Mittal also helped Sonali to release the unhealed wounds and make space for happiness, love, and peace.
In the initial sessions, Sonali definitely had a tough time confronting her own demons but with the unconditional support of Mr. Mittal she found the courage to take charge of her life and improve her marriage.
Mr. Mittal explains that the cycle of narcissistic abuse will continue until someone decides to end it. A woman who has experienced abuse by her in-laws may project similar behaviors on her daughter-in-law, or a son who grew up watching a narcissistic father may develop traits of narcissism as well.
Seeking professional help, establishing healthy boundaries, and engaging in self-care are important steps for individuals who have experienced narcissistic abuse to prevent the repetition of destructive behaviors.
If you or someone you know has suffered from narcissistic abuse then it is advisable to consult a therapist and break free from the cycle of abuse.
Doing the healing work will help you live a better life as well as save your future generations from the same fate.