Snowplow Parenting: An Overview of the Concept and Its Consequences
Every parent wishes for their children to achieve greatness. You know that just a portion of the credit for a child’s accomplishment belongs to the child when they grow up to be successful adults. The balance of the money goes to their hardworking, goal-oriented parents. Many parents will go to any length to ensure that their children reach the top of the class. There are Tiger Moms, Helicopter Parents, and Free-Range Parents, Some parents drive snowplows.
What Is Snowplow Parenting, and How Does It Work?
In a word, snowplows parenting is raising high-achieving tiny success monsters and allowing nothing or no one to stand in your way. Throughout their lives, your child will be presented with every conceivable chance, will receive all honors, plaudits, and esteem, whether they deserve it or not, and anyone who deviates from this meticulously constructed plan will receive an earful from one heated, snowplowing parent.
Snowplow parents have a goal in mind for their children, and they believe that the only way to achieve it is to remove all goals and barriers from the way. They are convinced that it is their responsibility to remove all obstacles in life so that their offspring can live happily and without strife.
Snowplow parenting resembles other forms of parenting in that there are no defined rules or boundaries, and everything is a little grey and fuzzy around the edges. However, you MIGHT be a snowplows parent if… you have the school principal’s phone number memorized in case you need to chirp at them about something.
-Your image is hung in a back office with a large red “x” over it by local sports coaches and camp counselors.
-You stay up late at night studying advanced educational and athletic prospects for your children, growing increasingly frustrated that no one has approached you about them.
-You’ve devised a strategy in case your child doesn’t win first place in the school talent show.
-Since your child was in kindergarten, you’ve been researching the 4th-grade science fair project.
-You call your adult child’s manager at work and inquire as to why they were passed over for a promotion.
-You’re in charge of your grown child’s finances and papers.
Each Friday night, your grown child drops off his or her laundry at your house and picks it up the following Sunday after eating your home-cooked lunch.
Snowplow Parenting’s Effects on Children
You are robbing your children of a vital life skill, self-sufficiency, by being a snowplows parent. Children must learn to be resilient. As adults, they will have dealt with a variety of stressful situations and scenarios throughout their lives, and they will have come up with positive outcomes in each of them. They must be able to come up with creative solutions to whatever problem they are confronted with. Kids learn these important life skills as children, but when their parents get their plow out, they are unable to learn and practice them.
Self-sufficient children are unlikely to become self-sufficient adults, and while seeing your children fail or be sad is frightening, the prospect of them becoming non-functioning adults in society is considerably more frightening.
What Is the Best Way to Put the Plow Down?
If you’re thinking to yourself as you read this, “Yes, I believe so. My photo is most likely in the dictionary under the term ‘Snowplow Parent.’ “Keep in mind that not everything is lost. Identifying and recognizing bad habits is the most difficult element of changing them. Once you realize what you’re up against, you can employ strategies to mitigate the less desirable aspects of your parenting.
Snowplow parents will want to take the lead in resolving any issues their children are having. Give youngsters a seed instead of swooping in and saving the day. You feel as if you accomplished your job as a parent by pointing them in the right way with only a suggestion of what they should do. As a result, they gain confidence in their talents to solve problems.
Learn to start conversations with questions rather than replies. Put the assessment back on their tiny shoulders if they seek your approval for everything. “Do you think you did a good job with this?” or “Well, it is your room, how does it seem to you?” when they question if they did a good job cleaning their room. As they look about, reassessing their original work, they might surprise you. They don’t need you to sign off on everything, but they do need you to remind them to think about and reflect on their actions and thoughts. You are a life guide for them, not a rescuer.
When Children Have Grown Up
Okay, you missed the boat when kids were younger, and the snowplowing became a little out of hand. You can still put the brakes on the snowplows parenting and embrace a parenting method that will benefit your developing or grown child even if your children are older. Stop doing everything for your kids in their later years as the first step toward putting the plow down. It’s past time they learned to be responsible adults and live life without your constant safety blanket.
Put an end to paying for everything. Stop enabling your children and make them responsible for their financial obligations. Allowances must come to an end at some point. If your older child doesn’t have enough money to buy something, resist the temptation to hand up the bills. If you have to, sit on your hands. This is an excellent example of a natural result. They don’t have the money to buy what they desire, thus they can’t. If it’s that essential to them, they’ll figure out a way to make it work.
Take a step back from their matters. This includes their employment and professional lives. You may have been the driving force behind their academic success during their school years, but once they have their own life and work, you must move aside. Do not contact them, do not fill out their forms, and allow them to fall or fly on their own. It’s far past due.
Teach older children how to make and keep appointments on their own. Today’s tech-savvy kids are perfectly capable of using a Google calendar. When children reach adulthood or are near to it, they should be taught when and how to make appointments. They must keep their own family if they wish to have one someday.
You have complete control over the type of parent you choose to be. Just remember to strike a balance with whatever style you want. Parenting, like everything else in life, is a delicate balancing act. You can have a free-range attitude, but not to the point where it becomes irresponsible. You can keep helicoptering if you want, but try to give the kid a few inches of breathing room. Spend some time thinking about what kind of parent you are and where you might make changes to provide a well-rounded upbringing for your children. Nobody can get this parenting 100% right, but looking into your parenting technique and approach and recognizing when it’s bordering on unhealable is a good start.