How to Get Kids to Listen: 9 Tricks To Put An End To The Frustration
These youngsters just don’t listen! Are you even a parent if you haven’t used these words at least once during your parenting journey? Dynamic young children don’t always do what’s expected of them, and it can be quite irritating for parents when toddlers refuse to listen. Knowing how to get children to listen will make everyone’s life easier.
Replace the word “don’t” with “do.” Parents are prone to utilise the term “don’t” repeatedly. They continually teach kids what NOT to do in an attempt to get them to stop an undesirable behaviour. For an adult, this makes obvious, but it might be baffling for children. They must first consider what they should not do, and then they must examine what they should do instead. Parents can avoid this misunderstanding by bypassing the “don’t” and going right to the “do.” These examples show how a parent might use positive speech to encourage children to listen better and complete a positive assignment.
“Please walk in the home,” instead than “Don’t run in the house.”
“Please try to use gentle touches with your family and friends,” instead than “Don’t strike your sister.”
“Please put your dirty clothes in the laundry basket,” instead of “Don’t dump dirty garments on the floor.”
Allow time for yes.
Parents frequently say “no.” Every day, children ask a million different questions. From simple questions such as whether they can paint to illogical requests such as whether they may acquire a pet pony and keep him in the basement, they’ve heard it all. Even the most patient and reflective parent’s brain will be burned by these queries, and it will become much simpler to say no. Because it is easier and brings closure to the topic, overworked, stressed, and fatigued parents turn to saying “no.”
When children hear “no” often, they will stop listening to what you ask of them. After all, are you truly paying attention to their requests? This does not imply that you must agree to all they request. That won’t happen, but you can create the appearance of “yes” in your reply.
When your child asks if they can go to the pool on a Wednesday morning and you are unable to accommodate them, don’t just say “no” and walk away. Consider saying something like, “That sounds like a lot of fun.” Let’s do it this weekend so that papa may join us.”
“I adore the pool as well!” After I finish my work, it would be a good way to close the day.”
“If we travel tomorrow, we can enlist the help of a friend.”
Do you want them to pay attention? Keep it brief.
When you ask your child to do anything, they often refuse. You sit them down right away and embark into a full-fledged lecture about why they should listen, what can happen if they don’t, and why you requested them to do a chore in the first place. These long, drawn-out discussions are a guaranteed way to make children’s eyes glaze over and their minds shut down totally. They’re finished before you even get to the meat of the talk. Now they’re not only not listening to your request, but also to your follow-up conversation. This is a complete waste of time and effort.
When youngsters refuse your requests, it’s acceptable to work in instructional moments, but keep your follow-ups brief and sweet. Don’t lose them in the jargon if you want them to pay attention to what you’re saying.
Activate everyone’s listening mode.
Every parent finds oneself barking marching orders to their children from across the house. When you tell someone to do something in this manner, they are likely to tune you out. Make sure everyone is listening if you want your kids to take your demands seriously. When you ask your youngster to do something, do so face to face. Get down on their level and look them in the eyes. Consider combining a little physical touch with your words, such as a light hand on the shoulder or wrist, to imply a connection is being created.
A Respectful Relationship Requires Connection
Connection is essential in a respectful relationship in which two people choose to listen to and carry out each other’s wishes. Make sure you devote time to your child’s relationship in order to foster lasting bonds. Pay attention to what they do, comment on it, and offer positive reinforcement and feedback when appropriate. Children are more open and responsive to their influences when they feel linked to the adults in their lives.
Demonstrate how to listen effectively
Kids learn from the adults in their lives, and not only from what they say; they also learn from what they do. If you want your children to be active listeners, you must first be an active listener. Demonstrate to children that you are a good listener. When you’re listening to them, make sure to:
Maintain your composure during heated debates.
Be understanding of their requests.
You should pay more attention to what you’re hearing than what you’re saying.
Wait until the children have done speaking before responding.
Use the words “So what I hear you saying is…” to make sure you heard them accurately.
The more you show that you can listen respectfully, the more likely your children will do so.
Other Reasons They Aren’t Listening to You
You ask your child to do things over and over, but they simply don’t happen. There is no spirit of defiance. What is going on here? They show no evidence of wanting to participate in a traditional power struggle, so what is going on? It may be nothing, in a nutshell. There could be a variety of reasons why your child isn’t paying attention. Consider the following if your youngster does not seem to listen consistently: Are they able to hear me clearly?
Is it possible that they’re having problems understanding what I’m asking?
Are they able to understand what I’m saying?
Do they have trouble following multi-step instructions? Is there a pattern emerging here?
Investigate what is causing a stumbling block in your listening abilities. Reach out to a trusted professional, communicate your concerns, and investigate alternative possibilities as to why listening is being blocked if you believe anything is going on that is more complex than a behavioural element of not listening.
Choices aren’t always available. The children must carry out the instructions given to them. Offering options, on the other hand, can be a useful strategy for helping children listen and complete chores. Give your children the option to choose between two options whenever possible. Make certain that the option they choose is one you can live with. Kids will feel more empowered if they have a say, and you’ll feel like they’re doing something you requested.
“Pick up your toys,” instead of “Pick up your toys.” “Could you kindly tidy up your toys or put your clothing away?” you can say. Both are tasks that must be completed. Sometimes you just have to be content with crossing one item off your to-do list.
Allow Natural Consequences to Take Their Course
You’ve told your adolescent to bring their laundry up from their basement bedroom so you can wash it and have their soccer outfit ready to go by tomorrow. You’re such a terrific mom for taking care of this menial task for them! The only problem is that they never carry the stinky clothing basket up to you. You may keep asking them to bring you the basket, you can go get it yourself, or you can make a punishment for not listening.
You can let natural consequences take care of themselves.
There isn’t a magic wand that can make kids listen.
There is no magic wand or secret password that will make all the parts fall into place at the same time to help kids develop their listening skills. Listening is a skill that children must exercise on a regular basis in order to improve. Be a role model for good listening, employ methods that have been proved to help youngsters become better listeners, and be patient. Your children will be well on their way to listening to you and others if you do those three things.