50 Years Old Tara’s Striking Story Of Self-Compassion
We are here to talk about a lovely woman named Tara. She is currently in her early 50s and feels that most of her life has been devoted to fulfilling the role of a perfect daughter, wife, and now a mother. Somewhere between staying true to her responsibilities, she neglected her dreams and wishes. Life gave her a remarkable opportunity to take charge of her life, and she chose to embrace the change and walk on the path of self-discovery.
Sacrifice and compromise are two words that are commonly associated with marriage. However, the real question is whether compromises are balanced by both the partners or only one is expected to bear the burden of prioritizing the relationship before their own wishes and desires. A common pattern is observed in many Indian marriages where a woman is bestowed with the responsibility of keeping the household together even at the stake of her own well-being.
We asked Tara a simple question, ‘What is the most important thing in life? This is what she said..
You are the most important thing in your life. And I am not saying this in a selfish, self-obsessed, and narcissistic way. But 30 years of my experience has taught me that when you don’t give importance to your needs, others can easily view you as a doormat and walk all over you as per their convenience and needs.
Hello, I am Tara, a 50 years old mother who lost most of her years in the service of my parents, then my husband, and now my children.
I grew up in a highly strict household. I remember all the times my mother would shut all the windows and doors, and make me do my homework. Every time I would get even a minor thing wrong, she would hit me. This torture lasted for 2 hours every single day until I passed my school. I could never take a stand for myself, just bearing the torture simply because she was my mother and I had to respect her.
Then came my husband. The one who wooed me for an entire year only to neglect me for the rest of our marriage. Even then, my priorities took a backseat and I became a dutiful wife.
When my kids came, I was the happiest person. I made them my world and I did everything for them. For the first time in my life, I felt that I was seen and loved. However, they grew up and they started on their own journey, forgetting a mother who once was their entire life.
In an empty house, the voices in your head echo louder than ever. And one voice that was the loudest is kept asking the same question, ‘But who are you?’
A silent daughter? No.
A dutiful wife? No.
A doting mother? No.
I had given zero importance to my needs, desires, and wants. They were suppressed so deep within me that I could not even recall if I had them at all. I felt depressed, helpless, and very very inferior.
One day, I was randomly scrolling through my Instagram when I came across a life coach. His words resonated with my soul, and I decided to approach him to understand if at 50 there is any scope of changing your life.
The good news is, there is! It has been almost 2 months of working with him, and he ignited a spark that was lost and gone. I am gradually learning how to take charge of my life, and be assertive about my needs and desires.
It can get lonely when you are always there for others but never there for yourself.
So, that is why I believe- the most important thing in life is YOU. Compassion towards others is amazing, but self-compassion is liberating.
More power to you, Tara! Her journey towards understanding and practicing self-compassion is amazing! As women, we are brought up with the notion that we need to be selfless at all times, but is it even human to do so? If you can relate to Tara then we hope even you find the courage to take charge of your life and embark on a transformation journey to create a happy life for yourself.
Never Miss Out on The Beauty of Life. Jiyo Zindagi Dil Khol Ke!