10 Signs You Were Raised By A Narcissistic Parent
Do I have a Narcissistic Parent?
Learning to understand and accept your upbringing is one of the most healing and liberating experiences you can have.
We looked up to our parents as children for support, encouragement, nurturing, and love.
However, when we were denied these items, we created a wide range of beliefs, behavioral patterns, and coping mechanisms to help us survive in such a hostile environment.
The problem with having a narcissistic mother or father is that you’ve been taught that you’re the crazy and disordered one, not them. This forces you to continuously doubt yourself and your feelings for them.
Another important indicator that you were raised by narcissists is the continual guilt you feel. In other words, while you may perceive that something is “wrong” with your parents, you are embarrassed to think about them in such a way, and you begin to beat yourself up instead.
But there’s a very good reason you’ve arrived at this article. And, if you have any remaining doubts, I hope the following information will dispel them.
Keep in mind that there is a distinction between narcissistic conduct (which occurs sometimes) and narcissism. Given the correct circumstances, we all have a predisposition to be egotistical (such as high stress). However, narcissism is a persistent, chronic, and pathological condition.
Look out for these 10 signs
- They only cared about you if you did what THEY wanted.
Your parent(s) quickly withdrew love. If you didn’t do what they wanted, they would either harshly punish you or give you silent treatment. You received the idea that they only loved you if you PROVED your value to them.
- They were never respectful of your boundaries.
Growing up, there was no “private” room to call your own. Your narcissistic mother or father would go into your room and personal possessions without a second thought, sometimes even using what they discovered against you.
- They piled the guilt on thick.
Another way they used to manipulate you was to constantly guilt trip you into doing what they wanted. “I’ve done so much for you, I’ve sacrificed everything for you,” they may have said. As a result, you felt obligated to them and as if you “owed” them total allegiance.
- They were continually insulting you.
Your narcissistic mother or father constantly berated, demeaned, and harassed you. They may have even exploited a vulnerability of yours to embarrass you.
- They gaslighted you.
They utilized a psychological manipulation technique known as gaslighting to get control of you. This means that they would purposefully make you feel insane or induce you to doubt your sanity to get an advantage. This resulted in the formation of persistent self-doubt throughout your youth, adolescence, and adulthood.
- They were extremely sensitive to any type of criticism.
Have you ever chastised your mum or father? What was their overarching reaction? If your mother or father was a narcissist, they most likely responded violently. They would scream at you and most likely physically harm you by hitting you or another manner.
- They projected their inappropriate behavior onto you.
If you were in a fight, your narcissistic mother or father would scream angrily at you, “How dare you to talk to your mother that way!” Proceed to your room. We’ll chat after you’ve stopped yelling at me.”
- They never showed any empathy.
They never inquired about your sentiments, sympathized with you, or showed concern. They appeared to be only concerned with their own emotions.
- They were always correct and never incorrect.
Even if they made a mistake or treated you unfairly or unjustly, they never apologized for it. When you challenged them about it, they rejected all claims and attempted to shift blame to you.
- They liked to project a beautiful family picture to strangers.
Your parent(s) went to tremendous pains to ensure that others see your family as a loving/successful/enviable one. You were most likely well aware of this ruse but remained mute out of dread of your parent’s fury.
While you may feel broken, it is critical to realize that you are not. Your soul can never be shattered. It’s still there, just waiting for you to get to it. This event just serves to demonstrate that you have everything you need within you. No matter what your childhood was like, you may still heal and reconnect with your inner reservoir of unconditional joy, wonder, and love. Effective parenting can prevent the onset of psychological disorders like social anxiety, depression and low self esteem