How Resolving Your Inner Conflicts Naturally Brings Joy
A world-renowned lecturer John Kehoe once said thoughts affect what happens to you. The mind is one of the most complex and the most mysteriously engineered entities we all have. We hardly notice how it functions, how it thinks, how it responds (or reacts) to situations, how it listens, what it tells itself, how it judges others or things in general. The English poet John Milton says, ‘The mind is its own place and in itself can make a hell of heaven or a heaven of hell.
The core functions of the Mind are: Thinking, Feeling and Wanting. Positivity flows in when the Mind using all these functions achieves the desired object. When it fails to do so, it falls into the negative feelings result like arrogance, defensiveness, indifference, resentment, depression, anger, irritability and the like.
If the Mind is said to be the powerhouse of all energies, then why does it tend to attract the negative? If it is capable of doing the unexpected, why does it invite the depressing factors? To find out the answer, we need to understand the core tendency of the Mind: Being in inner conflict.
Conflicting Nature of the Mind
The conflicting nature of the Mind is corroborated by the Bhagavad Gita as ātmaiva hy ātmano bandhurātmaiva ripur ātmanaḥ (6.5) meaning ‘The mind is the friend of the conditioned soul, and his enemy as well.’ It subtly means that the Mind tends to oscillate between things. At times it becomes your friend and guides you wonderfully whereas, at other times, it turns stubborn and irritant and opposes whatever you wish or decide to do. It does not support you. When the Mind is confused between multiple perspectives, thoughts, inclinations or views, know that it is in conflict, unable to focus on a single thought.
What happens when your mind meshes in its inner conflicts?
You easily get influenced by others’ opinions,
You tend to feel guilt-tripped of natural impulses in your body.
You have self-doubt and doubt your decisions as well.
You move away when you are required to confront.
You constantly want support or feedback from others you lack self-confidence.
You remain uncertain over you exactly want in life.
You are easily distracted.
All this stems from having the inner conflicts in your mind. The inner conflicts literally slow everything down in your life. You lose your appetite. You lost interest in things around you. Therefore it is imperative that you resolve those conflicts as the earliest.
Resolve the inner conflicts
Inner conflicts are in some way or the other battles transpiring between your thoughts, desires, and emotions. When a situation does not work as per our plan, anger, frustration, uncertainty, fear and confusion and other negative emotions come rushing to us.
To be happy in the Mind and the body, one needs to resolve the inner conflict first. For that, you need to be well-aware of the conflict. Being aware of an inner conflict does the half job (a small but significant achievement). Most people are not in the first place aware that they are suffering from inner conflicts.
Here are 7 simple techniques can help you to an extent to resolve your inner conflicts:
- Observing Your Thoughts in Meditation: The idea of meditation was greatly simplified by Rajnish Osho. One needs not to learn the rocket science of meditation. Simply sit in a relaxed pose, close your eyes and just observe your thoughts. Do not react or respond but just observe them. Then focus on your breaths. Breathe naturally. This will calm down your mind.
- Brisk Walk and Sit in Silence: This is best done in the morning hours. Walk briskly for about 45 minutes without a break. After this, sit at a place in silence and breathe in and out. This helps remove the unnecessary clutter from the Mind.
- Yoga: The word ‘Yoga’ comes from the Sanskrit ‘Yuj’ meaning ‘connect’. The core idea of yoga is to harmonize the mind and the body so that the Self (soul) regains his natural state of bliss. Yoga helps you embrace a sense of wellbeing with physical benefits as well.
- Avoid Negative behaviours: Never ever engage in physical or verbal abuse with anyone even though the circumstance may incite you do to the same. As per Dr. John Gottman, a leading researcher and expert on relationships, one must completely avoid these four during a conflict:
- Criticism (taking on the person’s character,)
- Contempt (nonverbal hostility)
- Stonewalling (shutting someone down)
- Defensiveness (seeing self as a victim.)
Being able to, Gottman says, identify these four in your conflict discussions is a necessary first step to eliminating them
- Take the Best and let go of the Rest. Author Wayne Dyer wisely said, “How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” Better to control your own behaviour or reactionary impulse because you can never under any circumstance control others’. Letting go of certain things that you have been onto actually relaxes and cuts you some slack.
With such techniques, you will naturally realize the correct side of your inner conflict with full awareness as the clutter of duality gets swept away, making a room for a subtle but powerful healing process to start. Without realizing its effect, you will experience an inexplicable joy which is your natural state.
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